So how’s your new years resolutions looking so far? If you signed up for this 30 day challenge this is our 7th check in....
It’s only early days, I know, but in the past, I’d already be running at a hundred miles an hour, headlong into a repeat of last year. You know exactly what I mean – teaching, writing, emails, clients. Believe me. You know how this goes.
But this year, for me at least, it’s different.
A lot different. You see, this time I’ve taken a completely fresh approach to what I want. In the past, I’d ruminate over some big ass goals and lofty ideals. I guess I figured the bigger they were, the more motivated I’d be. Well, this year I finally woke up to the fact that it just doesn’t work.
What it does do is give me an easy way out. This year I am focusing on what is stopping me.
I won't sugar coat this one. In order to achieve the Badassery you want, you might have to fail greatly.
The most successful people will tell you that at some point in their Badass lives, they thought they were going to fail.
Not because they didn’t have enough confidence in themselves, but because they had put it all on the line.
Let me ask you a question: Do you feel ready to take the risks you need to take in your life?
Go back to school, change careers, start a business, remarry, loose 100lbs... whatever?
Do you feel prepared to face whats coming when you finish this post
I doubt it.
And if you think you are, just look around you in the gym, office or classroom.
How capable do you think the most people around you are to trust in themselves?
Unless you are a teenager... you are probably like me and wake up everyday with a whole load of baggage called "learned helplessness."
One way of saying this would be that "learned helplessness" is a mindset where we have come to believe that we are truly at the mercy of external circumstances.
Learned helplessness involves feelings of powerlessness.
Its when you develop an idea that you have no real control over what is going to happen to you in the future about something or someone.
You feel powerless to control your future so start to just accept your current situation no matter how unfavorable it happens to be. The ideas of learned helplessness originate from experiments on animals.
Researchers put test subjects in a situation where they were faced with unpleasant stimuli from which they could not escape. Eventually, these animals would just accept their situation. They would stop trying to escape.
The big deal is that later, when researchers added a means of escape, these animals would fail to make use of it. They had learned to be helpless. This same type of learning can also occur in humans if they are frequently put in a negative situation in which they feel powerless.
And folks... if you have been around the sun a a few times you have had negative situation in your life! The big question is are you aware that they might be holding you back?
“A ship in a harbor is safe but that’s not why ships are built.”
Wayne Gretzky said: “You’ll always miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.”
So here is the big question you have been hoping I would not ask.
How many shots have you been taking out side of your comfort zone? Did you take take any shots at all in 2016? 2017 yet? When was the last time? Has fear frozen you into inactivity. I'm not a psychologist. But if life experience can start to make me fear risk and this thing called learned helplessness exists - what am I to do about it? Well... the fact that you are reading this is a MASSIVE start. You are aware now.
Because. If you feel stuck It probably not an "out there" issue. It an inside issue.
and folks. We can’t get anywhere without taking some kind of risk.
So what if you do fail?
That’s a heck of a lot more productive than doing nothing at all. You’ve got off your backside and do something. And guess what? As long as you learn from that experience you’ll be yards closer to scoring those winning goals.
This is going to seem way to simple. So simple in fact you won't do it. Please don't mistake simplicity with POWERFUL.
#1 - First, I go somewhere alone with a notebook and record anything that comes into your head for an hour or two - once a month. Have a beer or a glass of wine and be FREE. You will think of about all the amazing things you will like to achieve. Note them down - no matter how extravagant they seem! Anything and everything! A key for the general lack of Badassery in life the KEY reason that people feel this POWERLESS is that they haven't spent enough time thinking about what they want from life, and haven't set themselves formal goals.
After all, would you set out on a major road trip with no real idea of your destination? Probably not!
Put the work you created in a drawer ... and sit on it a day to two.
#2 From this we create a Big Picture list.
Now re read it quickly and without thinking to much write a paragraph or two and Be FREE and start to describe the person you want to be twelve months from now. Anything you want....
#3 Next, make an inventory of all the things that worked for you last year and all the things that didn’t.
#4 Next... create a simple three-column table in Google Docs with the following items at the top:
Date - What - Why
Go through your Big picture list and start putting it into your spreadsheet. Break it down into little actions. Put a date against each of them and described why you want them.
Important, I approach this with the mindset that its ok to FAIL. DO NOT CENSOR YOURSELF!!!!!!!
Now the part that makes all the difference.
#5 - At night Write up a daily schedule for the next day that does something on that list.
This is the one thing you will look at every day to know if you are on track or not.
If you do everything on that schedule each day, I will know I have a shot at reaching my goals.
It's that simple folks and it's that hard. Facing your fears is a one day, one step, one obstacle at a time thing. And if you deal with it that way you WILL WIN.